I always have one foot in the past and one in the future. I think about both equally, when life says I should forget about the past. It’s the good memories that I hold onto, and sometimes it’s hard to let go. That’s just life. However, the future can be just as sweet as the good old times. I look forward with fresh eyes and growing anticipation. The past doesn’t define where I go, and the future doesn’t have to take control over the present.
I don’t dwell on the past, but I simply remember. I remember everything as a writer does, with great detail and empathy for my past selves. I remember the good with a pleasant nod, despite the grief. Even through the mourning, there were people who gave me sweetness. Those are the ones who made the present worth living. I often think about the days where I felt lost, and there were plenty. I feel afflicted by the troubles my younger self went through, some ghosts just don’t go away. Some people, like me, stay haunted.
As much as I wander through the past, I obsess over my future. I am always looking forward, sometimes glancing back, but continuing on and on regardless. I constantly wonder who I am going to be, and I try to plan how I will get there with what I have now. I am in awe of the daydreams I have every day, always planning how I can achieve them. Tomorrow isn’t promised though, and I’m aware of the importance of staying present. I have trouble with actively participating in the now, aware that I should wake up from the dreams every once in awhile. I just know that if today doesn’t go right, I can always try again in the morning.
Photo by a friend
nina writes 
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